


To Those Who Have Ever Said, 'Cheers to a Great Working Relationship,' I Kindly Say, ‘Fuck You’

by Sargentpepper23



Series: Justice, Morality, and Revenge [2]
Category: One Piece
Genre: Bickering, F/M, Humor, Sexual Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-27
Updated: 2020-11-27
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:48:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27735589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sargentpepper23/pseuds/Sargentpepper23
Summary: “I need you to gather everything you have about this woman.”A please would be nice, asshole.Or in other news,Nox is pissy, Charlotte won't take his shit, and maybe, just maybe, they might eventually get along.
Series: Justice, Morality, and Revenge [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2028793
Kudos: 1





	To Those Who Have Ever Said, 'Cheers to a Great Working Relationship,' I Kindly Say, ‘Fuck You’

Wholly absorbed in adding additional notes to the detailed intelligence report before her, Charlotte’s swirling penmanship was ruined when a large hand slammed down on her desk.

“I need you to gather everything you have about this woman.”

_A please would be nice, asshole._

And she would have told the commodore just that if she wanted to kick off their fifth pissing contest of the week.

Instead, with the patience of a saint, she pried the bounty out from under his tan fingers, grabbed a notepad, and snipped back, “Other than ‘everything,’ anything specific you’re looking for”?

His pointer finger twitched. “No. Just get me the information _today_.”

The woman stiffened at his insinuation. As if she wouldn't gather and analyze everything as fast as she could, but none the less tucked a stray lock of sleek, wine-red hair behind her ear and grumbled, "You'll have it in a few hours."

“See that I do,” he growled before slamming the door behind him. 

Charlotte glared into the ringing space. She’s told that _Fucker_ over and over again to be _quiet_ when he visits them. He can take his melodramatic, hissy fits somewhere el- 

Someone’s chair rolled across the tile and bumped playfully against her desk. “Holy shit. I would fuck that man from Monday to Sunday.”

Charlotte silently agreed. “He’s an ass.”

“One I wouldn’t mind sinking my teeth into.”

“Ugh, Kiki.” She looked over in exasperation.

“What,” the plump woman asked with a devilish grin, the top three buttons of her regulation white shirt open in favor of showing off her impressive, dark cleavage. “Just because I’m off the market doesn’t mean I can’t look at the goods.”

Donnie, a grizzled man, having long since given up on laying low until his upcoming retirement, sidled his chair next to the buxom pinkette. “I wouldn’t even do that. With everyone flocking after him, who knows where his dick’s been.”

“Eh, most STD’s are curable.” 

Charlotte slid the bounty inside a freshly labeled file and shoved it in her black, leather tote. “Careful,” she chided, “Command will write you up if they hear you talking shit about their golden boy.”

Kiki’s grin widened, and Charlotte sighed in resignation for the crass comment that lay ahead. Sure enough, Kiki spun around and loudly proclaimed to the fourteen other intelligence officers in the office, “Y’all, if I wasn’t happily married, I would fuck the shit out of that commodore, then ask him to eat my ass like a cupcake.”

While the girls whooped and hollered their assent, Charlotte rolled her eyes. Their unit is a mess, and she loves them for that. 

“You know, Care-Bear,” Kiki turned back towards her, “You should take advantage of his attention. It’s not every day a man like that hangs off your every word.”

Charlotte shoved the last of her stuff into her bag and snatched her sugary drink away from Donnie’s puckered lips. “He’s only interested in what I have to say because it’s about the Kid pirates.”

“So? You’ve got the looks, and he’s not blind. Flirt with him a bit. See what happens.”

“Absolutely not.” Charlotte rose from her chair, and smoothed out a non-existent wrinkle on her form-fitting, navy skirt before rounding her desk, heels clicking. “He’s a demanding prick who goes out of his way to make my life as miserable as his own. Now, if you’ll _excuse me_ ,” she stepped over Kiki’s deliberately stretched out foot, ”I’m going to go dig up this research and try not to throttle him on sight.”

“Oh, come on! Hunt that sucker down, dig your fingers into his ass, and su—”

Charlotte walked out with the dignity of a queen, righteously ignoring the cacophony of noise behind her as the room collectively lost their shit at the thought of someone sucking Commodore Nox’s dick. 

~~

_Two and a half hours later_

With the file snug against her chest, Charlotte stood before a massive, wooden door. It was easily thirty feet tall, and judging by the various nicks and divots within the dark grain, it had survived several decades' worth of fights and drunken shenanigans. 

Eyeing a fresh burn mark with a raised brow, she glanced towards the scuffed plaque beside it, the one identifying it as room 224, and knocked on the smaller door carefully inlaid within the larger one.

The large door opened, and she craned her neck back to grin at the towering brunette who poked her head out. “How’s it going, Audra”?

The lieutenant smiled down at her, equally delighted to see her friend. “Eh, could be worse. What’re you doing here”?

The redhead tapped the file, “Nox asked for more information on a bounty.”

Audra cocked a single brow. “More information, huh? Who’s the boun—”

“Lieutenant, who’s out there,” called a familiar voice, one Charlotte had the unfortunate pleasure of speaking with this morning.

Before Audra could answer, the smaller door opened, and the bane of Charlotte’s existence stepped into the hall. 

God, it’s so fucking irritating. The way Nox stands a good head taller than her. Though, she finds no complaint in the way his navy jacket cuts cleans lines across his broad shoulders. Or the perfectly tailored, light gray suit that hugs his lean form. There’s a giant coffee stain on his chest today, but she doubts he is extra pissy because of that. No, with the face he’s making at her ample chest, it has everything to do with her file.

Full lips pressed thin in annoyance, his clenched jaw highlighted sharp cheekbones, and his dark brows were furrowed as he eyeballed her down his straight nose. Coupled with his short, under-cut chocolate brown hair and tan complexion, it is a wonder why the panties of every lady and some men on base haven’t dropped yet. 

It is absolutely, completely, 100% ridiculous that everyone thinks he is just as good looking as she is. 

“Is that my file,” he scowled, “About time you got here,” and with that dickish comment, he grabbed it from her regrettably loose fingers and left, slamming the door behind him.

_…That fucker!_

Charlotte’s eyes didn’t stray from the door when she asked, tone worryingly soft, “Did he just…”

Audra bit her lip and peeked back inside before answering, “Don’t take it personally. He got some bad news this morning.”

Charlotte’s eyes narrowed, and Audra backtracked before the redhead contemplated marching in there and shooting him, “Not that it’s an excuse for him to act like that, but maybe you can let him off the hook just this once? He’s having a rough day.”

The silence was unnerving, but Charlotte eventually huffed out, “Fine,” and turned back towards her friend, “I attached a note, but would you remind him I’m waiting on a couple of contacts to get back to me? They’re close to where she first appeared, so they probably have more info on her.”

The brunette said she would, and the two went their separate ways, but not before promising to meet up for coffee tomorrow morning. 

~~

_A few hours later_

_Pero-pero-pero-pero, pero-pero-per-Ca-chak_

“Intelligence, this is Charlotte.”

“It’s Audra, and you need to _leave_. Nox is on a warpath, and he’s—“

_SLAM!_

Half of the office started in their chairs when the man of the hour threw open the solid steel door, silencing the room. 

Watching through narrowed eyes as the six and a half foot tall jackass weaved through the desks and stalked towards her like some kind of deranged animal, Charlotte drawled into the receiver, “I’ll have to call you back. There’s about to be an issue here.”

“Dammit. I knew that bounty was going to be a problem. _Please_ play nice”!

“No promises,” Charlotte murmured before hanging up. 

The commodore slammed both hands on her desk and leaned in with a snarl, “I told you to get me _everything_.”

“And I told you I was waiting on my contacts,” she snapped back. “If you read the report, which I’m sure you did, you would see I _literally_ spelled that out for you.”

A muscle in his jaw ticked, near simultaneously to the finger that started tapping against the cheap wood, “That’s no excuse. I need that information _now_.”

“Tough luck. By some disastrous anomaly, I was born without the ability to physically reach through a snail and throttle someone for answers. So, unless you can do that, you’re going to have to wait a bit longer.”

“Absolutely not. All this tells me is that you’re incompetent when it comes to gathering information, and if that’s the case, it baffles me that you even have this position because it’s your _job_.” 

_…Excuse me?_ How _dare_ he give her shit! Not after she’s spent hundreds of hours working her ass off to put together his reports. When she bends over backward to verify and weed out the false information littered amongst them. Her analyses are the best in the damn region because of their accuracy! _Fuck him!_

"What about you," she snapped back, "What's your excuse for squatting on base all these months when you're supposed to be tracking down pirates? Have you ever considered it's _you_ who can’t do their job”?

That last part was untrue, cruel, and a kinder side of her wished she’d never said it, but the shocked look on his face only lasted a second before he lurched forward, their noses nearly brushing. “Don’t talk about things you know nothing about,” he growled deep from his throat. 

“Then don’t make assumptions about my capabilities,” she seethed back, her cognac eyes burning.

Nox opened his mouth, no doubt to lay into her, but whipped his head around when someone sucked their half-empty drink, loudly.

Charlotte glared across the room at Kiki. “Oh, don’t stop on my account,” she grinned from her desk, legs crossed casually on top of confidential papers, “You guys were just getting to the good part.”

Before they could get back at it, another distraction appeared, this time in the form of a flustered recruit. “Commodore,” the teen gasped from the doorway, face as red as his hair from running clear across base, “Lieutenant Audra needs your assistance.”

Nox glared at him, and Charlotte glared at Nox’s cheek when the poor kid squeaked. “And what, pray tell, is so important that she couldn’t handle it herself,” the commodore asked softly, entirely at odds with the furious tapping of his finger. 

The recruit’s face flushed even more, “She uh, she didn’t say. Only that she needs you, right now.”

Nox didn’t look like he believed him for a second, but he turned back towards Charlotte. She could have sworn his pupils were slit, but he blinked, and the monster was gone, buried once again. “Get me that information by the end of the day,” he snapped, pushing off her desk. 

“Only if it arrives by then," she snapped back and launched her empty cup at the back of his head. Who cares if he has the strength to fling her across base. He’s acting like a royal dick today. 

The door slammed shut before the cup found its mark, and Charlotte was grateful the room was quiet because she needed a moment. Breathing like a raging dragon would get her nowhere.

It took a minute, but she found her inner cool and dialed Audra’s number, absolutely refusing to acknowledge her smirking coworkers while she did it. The snail chirped once before connecting, "Oh my god, you killed him, didn't you,” groaned the lieutenant. 

“Unfortunately, no,” Charlotte huffed, shooting looks of warning at her snickering office mates, “Too many witnesses on my end.”

They all grinned at that. It had been far too long, nearly a week, since the feisty, young woman had unleashed on him. 

Charlotte’s lip twitched traitorously upward at the sight. “You’re going to need to come up with an excuse,” she continued, “The kid wasn’t quick on his feet.”

“I’m not surprised, but give him some credit. It was his first battle.”

Charlotte snorted, “Next time you send the poor thing down here, let him know I don’t bite scrawny munchkins.”

“Yeah yeah, we all know you reserve the biting for hunks with a great ass…….”

Audra trailed off, only to whisper, “Oh my god. Didn’t I tell you to _play nice_? What the hell did you do”?

“Something unforgivable,” Charlotte murmured, eyeing the tiniest of divots in her desk, coincidentally where Nox’s finger had tapped. “I inferred the Terrible-Awful, and told him he’s incompetent at his job.”

Audra sighed long and low. “Really, Char? You had to go there,” and disconnected with a click. 

Charlotte didn’t bother trying to explain herself because Audra was right. She should never have said that. 

Everyone knew what had happened to Nox nearly six months ago. How a simple protection detail had gone sideways. Ending with dozens dead, a looted, burning museum, and him pinned under a mountain of rubble, clutching the hand of a dead comrade buried beside him.

_Fuck. I’m going to have to apologize._

~~

It was late, and with the solitary lamp flickering eerily above room 224’s plaque, the massive door next to it looked like something straight out of a horror movie. 

The long scratches Charlotte had attributed to drunken idiots and testosterone-fueled fights no longer appeared so innocent. No, the night told a different story. A story that had senses screaming something dangerous lurked behind the door, just waiting for a fool to wander in. 

Usually, she wouldn't be concerned by the feeling. Not when the something dangerous is a grumpy, over-sized commodore who folds paper airplanes out of old memos and occasionally hides strips of beef jerky in his desk.

Still, one couldn’t help but be on edge when nothing short of a bomb is enough to make the man flinch. 

A shadow moved under the door, and Charlotte squared her shoulders, ready to face him. She had a plan for tonight, and slipping the file under the damaged wood like a coward wasn’t part of it.

The door handle turned, and Nox was halfway out into the hall, shoulders slumped, exhaustion clear on his face when he noticed her. Man, she really did—

_Wait, there’s the scowl. He’s fine._

“Can I help you, Ma’am,” he growled, standing up straight and folding his arms across his chest. 

She ignored his defensive posturing but bit her tongue at the ma’am comment. Fighting the urge to argue that twenty-five does not make one an old woman, she walked over and held out the thick report, “Your file, Sir.”

In the shadows, his golden eyes reflected the lamplight as they stared one another down. Eventually, he blinked and grabbed the file, only to glare at her again when she refused to relinquish it. “Let. Go,” he demanded.

Charlotte did not. She had something else to say. “No, I want you to know that I'm sorry for what I said earlier. It was completely out of line and untrue. You do good work, Nox.”

She released the file, and he tucked it hastily under his arm. “Anything else,” he scowled over the rapid tapping of his finger. 

_Absolutely, but I’ll rattle them off tomorrow when you’re a little more put together._

“I hope this,” she gestured to the file, “answers the questions you’re looking for.” 

He studied her with an unreadable expression, golden eyes searching for something, and she suddenly wondered why he is so interested in _this_ bounty. Why research the woman, Ever is her name, when there are far more dangerous men associated with the Kid Pirates? She has to be vital if he's this bent—

“Are you done wasting my time, or are you going to continue standing there like a gawking idiot”? 

_Prick._

“Oh, sweetie. There’s nothing to gawk at. But that cute little recruit Audra sent over can visit anytime. He's much more agreeable than you."

Nox huffed, and Charlotte wanted to throttle him when he eyed her lean yet curvy figure with boredom. “Of course, he is. He’s a horny teenage boy. He’d agree to just about anything if it came from you.”

“And you won’t,” she asked out of curiosity, and ok fine, future manipulation. 

A ghost of a smile formed on his lips, and he dragged his burning gaze up her frame. “You’ll have to do a lot more than bat your eyes at me, officer,” he said, eventually meeting her stare. 

She smirked. It was times like this that maybe, just maybe, they might eventually get along. “I always like a good challenge. Take care, commodore."

And with that, Charlotte walked down the dark hallway, hyper-aware of the glowing eyes tracking the sway of her hips as she left. 


End file.
